While We're Here, Pass This With Me — omgpornplease: gutsybitsy: ...

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
omgjustinoluransi
timbits-and-zimbits

Jack “what do you mean chicken tenders can’t be served at our wedding reception” Zimmermann

gutsybitsy

Eric “my fiance will get the food he wants or so help me lord i dont care if it doesn match the theme” Bittle

omgpornplease

The Zimmermanns pay for the catering. Jack gets into several intense arguments with his maman about what the head table will be eating because there’s a set menu and it’s going to be hard to change because he’s having an anti-steak month.

Jack is super sullen when Shitty, Ransom, Holster and Tater are getting ready in the Groom’s suites because he’s hungry and breakfast was hours ago and there isn’t any time for lunch or anything like that and he’s not going to get to eat probably until they’re in the honeymoon suite and he can send for takeaway. 

Ransom texts Chowder, who texts Dex and Nursey, who check with Bitty, who runs it by Alicia, Bob and Suzanne, before sending the a-okay

so when Jack and Eric get their food first, there’s a rather large flourish of Eric’s filet mignon with white truffle sauce and mashed potatoes with garlic and herbs, and Jack’s plate of artfully arranged Jerry’s chicken tenders with red wine sauce on the side, a small pot of homestyle gravy, a soft biscuit, and hand-cut french fries.

“Don’t thank me,” Eric warns when Jack turns to him with watery eyes. “Thank your bros. They made it happen.”

Eric gets his first kiss at the reception because of fucking chicken tenders. 

Source: timbits-and-zimbits

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spontaneousmusicalnumber
sylvanas-girlkisser

Hi consider this your blessing from a certified forever GM, to please make your TTRPG characters Mary Sues.

Listen if you spend enough time in the hobby you will inevitably get people turning up their nose, saying you need to make your PCs “realistic”. These people are wrong! Especially when it comes to DnD. There’s nothing wrong with tropes but after a while all the human fighters who used to be in the army, and elf wizard trying to live up their family legacy start to blur together.

The same cannot be said for the diamond-skinned demi-goddess cleric who started her prayers with “Hey mom, it’s me”; the self-described “slutty pyromaniac” tiefling sorcerer; the ranger who wanted to domesticate an army of rats and declare herself “queen of the sewers”; or the slightly macabre mushroom druid who became a sheepgirl while trying to cast “trans your gender”.

mylordshesacactus

There is literally only one hard-and-fast rule in D&D character creation, which is one of basic courtesy to the DM and others–you have to create a character who, for literally any reason at all, would join an adventuring party.

(Like I said, this is basic courtesy; nothing is worse than the player who, when the DM introduces a plot hook, responds with “but why would MY character care? why would I get involved in this monster attack? MY character would just let the town guard handle it!” 

The answer to “but why would my character want to get involved?” is “Because you’re not the only player at the table, and you’re not the main character in a novel.” Pulling the session to a grinding halt around your character’s…lack of interest in the entire game….is rude and unfair. This is a team-based game, and an understood rule of conduct is that you are going to be playing a character who will–reluctantly perhaps, warily certainly, out of fear or self-interest by all means, but will nevertheless–join forces with the rest of the group and have some form of engagement with the plot)

And get this.

The vast majority of players snottily talking down to the actually interesting and engaging character concepts for not being “realistic” enough? They violate that one rule all the fucking time. A lone-wolf jaded rogue sitting by themself in the corner might be “realistic,” but if they keep no-selling plot hooks and refusing to engage with the plot because “it would be out of character”, then they’re not a good character for D&D and their players should have made a better one.

Literally the only law of character creation is to make a character who will in some way, shape, or form engage with the fucking story.

Make characters who are INTERESTING and ENGAGING and FUN TO PLAY and yes, don’t let assholes ruin your fun, but also: You are probably objectively better at this than they are and you deserve to keep that in mind.

NEVER take character criticism from people who only have one rule they’re expected to follow and still can’t figure it out.

raptortooth

Sometimes the only reason something happens is because otherwise there wouldn’t be a story and that applies to your d&d character too

Source: sylvanas-girlkisser
spontaneousmusicalnumber
rosadiaznypd

peter parker: hey captain carol look at this cool picture of me on this pride flag!

carol: wow that’s cool man

peter parker: yeah! i took it on the anniversary of gay marriage being legalized! 

carol: 

carol: 

carol: the anniversary of WHAT BEING LEGALIZED 

peter parker: gay m—-wait where are you going????

carol, flying out the window: LOUISIANA 

imstrandedonthemoon

*frantic knocking on Maria’s door*

maria, opening the door: what the f-

carol: GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGALIZED

maria:

maria:

maria: i know???

carol: and you didn’t dO ANYTHING ABOUT IT????

ersoroot ersoroot

maria: fury didn’t let me use the pager

the-real-skye

image

Why was this hiding in the tags???

Source: briel-arson
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