While We're Here, Pass This With Me

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
spontaneousmusicalnumber
sylvanas-girlkisser

Hi consider this your blessing from a certified forever GM, to please make your TTRPG characters Mary Sues.

Listen if you spend enough time in the hobby you will inevitably get people turning up their nose, saying you need to make your PCs “realistic”. These people are wrong! Especially when it comes to DnD. There’s nothing wrong with tropes but after a while all the human fighters who used to be in the army, and elf wizard trying to live up their family legacy start to blur together.

The same cannot be said for the diamond-skinned demi-goddess cleric who started her prayers with “Hey mom, it’s me”; the self-described “slutty pyromaniac” tiefling sorcerer; the ranger who wanted to domesticate an army of rats and declare herself “queen of the sewers”; or the slightly macabre mushroom druid who became a sheepgirl while trying to cast “trans your gender”.

mylordshesacactus

There is literally only one hard-and-fast rule in D&D character creation, which is one of basic courtesy to the DM and others–you have to create a character who, for literally any reason at all, would join an adventuring party.

(Like I said, this is basic courtesy; nothing is worse than the player who, when the DM introduces a plot hook, responds with “but why would MY character care? why would I get involved in this monster attack? MY character would just let the town guard handle it!” 

The answer to “but why would my character want to get involved?” is “Because you’re not the only player at the table, and you’re not the main character in a novel.” Pulling the session to a grinding halt around your character’s…lack of interest in the entire game….is rude and unfair. This is a team-based game, and an understood rule of conduct is that you are going to be playing a character who will–reluctantly perhaps, warily certainly, out of fear or self-interest by all means, but will nevertheless–join forces with the rest of the group and have some form of engagement with the plot)

And get this.

The vast majority of players snottily talking down to the actually interesting and engaging character concepts for not being “realistic” enough? They violate that one rule all the fucking time. A lone-wolf jaded rogue sitting by themself in the corner might be “realistic,” but if they keep no-selling plot hooks and refusing to engage with the plot because “it would be out of character”, then they’re not a good character for D&D and their players should have made a better one.

Literally the only law of character creation is to make a character who will in some way, shape, or form engage with the fucking story.

Make characters who are INTERESTING and ENGAGING and FUN TO PLAY and yes, don’t let assholes ruin your fun, but also: You are probably objectively better at this than they are and you deserve to keep that in mind.

NEVER take character criticism from people who only have one rule they’re expected to follow and still can’t figure it out.

raptortooth

Sometimes the only reason something happens is because otherwise there wouldn’t be a story and that applies to your d&d character too

soupdrag0n
exciting

fights I would pay to see: sigmund “everyone is attracted to someone” freud vs John “sexual desire is evil and cereal can and will fix it” Kellogg

moonlitdremr

Asked my mom who both has a MA in psychology and currently works for Kellogg’s to weigh in for the hell of it

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headspace-hotel

I asked my mom, who has a mostly complete master’s in counseling, and she said this

image

So, take all this as you will

littlearcher-girl
fetalpile

Fun and good thing to say to a mad gamer in their video game who is YELLING:
“hey buddy its okay. its just a fun toy. We’re just playing with a fun toy together, okay?”

defiantbird

Y’all laugh, one time I told a guy on Reddit “It’s ok that you didn’t like the movie” about Star Wars and I have never seen someone get SO mad SO fast

fetalpile

Being nice to nerds is like spraying red musk into the eyes of a furious bull

places-top-of-show
taylor-tut

y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?”

every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen

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taylor-tut

i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she was “watching her weight”

so this guy behind her, whom no one was talking to, for some fucking reason says “wathing your weight? but what about the wait for your watch?“ (which is a completely unhinged response. like just complete Mad Hatter nonsense)

anyway this lady gets really uncomfortable and of the five people (me, him, her, the other checker, and the customer at the other register) who were now sucked into the uncomfortable silence, i decided that i should alleviate the tension by saying “you can’t wait for a watch; you don’t have the time”

and then he said “oh, quick girl!”, gave me that pen, got out of line, and left without ordering anything 

patron-saint-of-smart-asses

You pleased a mad fae trickster